


All Inside of You

by vixalicious



Category: Lord of the Rings RPF, lotrips
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-02-26
Updated: 2004-02-26
Packaged: 2017-11-07 19:57:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/434791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vixalicious/pseuds/vixalicious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Disclaimer: No ownership, no profit, no truth.</p><p>A/N:  I have been listening to this song over and over for weeks, and resisting writing this.   I tried to tell myself that I write far too much song!fic.  Then I tried to convince myself that I should just post the lyrics and tempt someone else to sin.  Then I fucking caved.  Sorry.  Lyrics and title are from Counting Crows’ Carriage.<br/>A/N#2:  Written in about ten minutes so if I screwed something up, don't be shocked.</p><p>PLEASE DO NOT:  repost this story anywhere (links are fine, recs are fantastic, reposting is bad), mention it on any non-fandom site such as (but not limited to) Goodreads, or read/share any excerpt from it in any public forum (radio, television, convention, etc) without the express written permission from the author.  Thank you!</p>
    </blockquote>





	All Inside of You

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: No ownership, no profit, no truth.
> 
> A/N: I have been listening to this song over and over for weeks, and resisting writing this. I tried to tell myself that I write far too much song!fic. Then I tried to convince myself that I should just post the lyrics and tempt someone else to sin. Then I fucking caved. Sorry. Lyrics and title are from Counting Crows’ Carriage.  
> A/N#2: Written in about ten minutes so if I screwed something up, don't be shocked.
> 
> PLEASE DO NOT: repost this story anywhere (links are fine, recs are fantastic, reposting is bad), mention it on any non-fandom site such as (but not limited to) Goodreads, or read/share any excerpt from it in any public forum (radio, television, convention, etc) without the express written permission from the author. Thank you!

Surprise surprise  
I miss your hair, you miss my eyes 

_Elijah hadn’t thought it would be the hardest thing he ever did. He’d heard his whole life about how hard long-distance relationships were, but you never believe it won’t work for you, ya know? Love conquers all. Love is patient, love is kind. He knew Orlando would always love him._

_It wasn’t supposed to be a problem that Orlando would be in London while he returned to L.A. Separated by distance, work, not seeing each other for months on end? No problem!_

* * *

_He could hear the accusation in his own voice, bitter and hated, as he interrogated Orli over the phone. Where had Orlando been, who had he been with, and why in God’s name hadn’t he called when he’d said he would? Elijah knew he was being unreasonable, that Orli had just been out with his mates, that time had slipped away, that he wouldn’t even give a shit if this had happened when they were in New Zealand together._

_What he couldn’t say, what he really meant, was how could you not be miserable without me?_

And all this solitude  
is my confidence eroding

* * *

_If you’d asked him before it happened, he would have told you that you were insane. Who in their right mind would cheat on Orlando Bloom? Who would need to? But the night had gotten out of hand long before the actual crime was committed: too much booze, a couple of pills that he should have known better than to take, and then a slender pretty boy with curly hair. Nothing special, no glow, but if he closed his eyes…_

_Nine months, he tried to rationalize the next day. Nine months without touching Orlando. Without Orlando touching him. Anyone would have cracked. No one needed to know._

So we slide inside of  
someone's mouth and someone's eyes

Until there's a sound  
of something intimate exploding 

_Orlando had called the next day, full of love and laughter. Elijah tried not to think about what had happened, but the touch of tainted skin was still fresh and he couldn’t do it. Couldn’t not confess. Couldn’t stop the whole sordid tale from tumbling from his lips._

_Couldn’t stop crying after Orli hung up on him._

* * *

_He thought Orli would forgive him eventually. He thought Dom or Billy would talk Orli into calling him, and then he could apologize, grovel, say all the things he should have said the first time. Explain. When it became clear that wasn’t going to happen, he thought the pain would go away._

_When it became clear that wasn’t going to happen, he just started drinking more. And smoking more. And screwing more._

I wish that I was anesthetized  
and sterilized and then  
we wouldn't have this evidence congealing

Surprise surprise,  
another pair of lips and eyes 

_He was in the checkout counter at the grocery store when he saw it. Fucking sucks how these things always happen when you’re in a public place and screaming’s not allowed._

_Pictures. Orlando with some girl. Wrapped around her. Kissing her on a beach. A girl. A fucking girl!_

_Love gets its ass kicked on a regular basis. Love is intolerant, love is cruel. That was the first time he really knew that Orlando didn’t love him anymore._

* * *

_He remembered one time, when they were still in New Zealand, when things were still simple. He remembered Orli on his knees, he remembered the sound of crew members chatting outside his trailer, he remembered the feel of the countertop under his naked ass. But mostly he remembered coming so hard into Orli’s mouth that he thought maybe he’d let some permanent part of himself – his heart or maybe even his soul – escape. Now he thinks he did. And he thinks he’s never going to get it back._

And that is the consequence  
of actually feeling


End file.
